Star Wars: The Force Reborn

This is Star Wars the Force Reborn. This Rp takes place during Darth Revan and Malak's time. The Old Republic, 3960 Years before Episode One. Please feel free to join and look around.
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 Helsing Script

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Darth Bane

Number of posts : 292
Skill : 37,780
Force Ability : 12,715
Aim : N/A
Strength : 24,285
Intelligence : 13,545
Army : Sith Order
Master/Apprentice : None
Credits : 395
Weapons : Linked Fiber Cord Saber- Yellow
Registration date : 2008-10-21

PostSubject: Helsing Script   Sun Nov 02, 2008 9:27 am

Part One

(Scene starting at exactly 15 seconds into the first part of Episode One)

A yellow car drives across a rainy and wet road.

Cop: Hey you, in the car. Make sure you know we are with ya and stuff. Ya know for the mission. (Ends at 21 Seconds, time it correctly.)

(Cuts to 31 seconds. Make sure to have rock playing here. Possibly ride the lightning by metallica.)

This scene shows Alucard putting his gun together. (Ends at exactly 42 seconds, do not show the car.)

(Cuts to 51 seconds.)

Alucard is staring into the distance

Alucard: I hate my life..... God I need a Girlfriend.... (Ends at 58.)

(Cuts to 1:01)

A woman in a coat walks into a room.

Man: Welcome to the bat cave.

Man at 1:09: So are you going to get on your knees or what?

Woman de-coats

Man at 1:38- Damn it! Need to call pest control again.

Man approaches woman and begins carresing her body.

Man at 2:01: Has anyone ever told you that you have the body of Angelina Jolie, the smell of Betty White, (At 2:07) and the taste of a Chinese Whore. AHHHHHHHHHHH! (Not loudly but very pleasurely.)

Man at 2:13: OH GOD THE POPO!

Alucard at 2:17: No, im Batman!! Uh.... I mean.... That woman with you is an assassin sent by the Xia (Sha) Dynasty Back in time to kill you by Frederick Douglass.

Man at 2:28: Frederick Douglass!! I KNEW IT!!

Alucard at 2:30: And that isnt even the worst.

Man at 2:32: What?!?!?!?!?!?

Alucard draws his gun.

Man at 2:39: Oh god no!!! SHE HAS A PENIS!!

Alucard at 2:40: No.... But good try. Shes a fuckin Vampire.

Man runs.

Alucard blows her brains out.

(Stop at 2:57)

(Start at 4:07)

Bald Man at 4:09: Apparently this priest has been going around raping children. But now that he is a Vampire he bites you, so be careful of that too.

Bald Man at 4:16: That was him before he turned into a Vampire. As you can tell from the picture he is gay.

Man with Mustache at 4:34: Well that guy is a psycho. Onto business. That Vampire priest rapist is messin with the police. We need to get rid of him before he kills anymore of us. Do you have any ideas?

Woman at 4:49: Nope. I guess there is only one thing to do. You have to sit down and have a nice big bowl of shut the fuck up. God you people are idiots, I am going to get Alucard on this.

(Stop at 5:01)

(Start at 6:30)

Man lying on the ground at 6:40: Cantelopes..... Bunny Rabbits........ Quality prices at Bobs Carpet Mart! (Say that last one enthusiasticly)

Woman at 6:46: Shut the hell up. Here I am going to spray some stuff on you that wont do anything but speed up the zombification process.

Woman at 6:55: God this is ridiculous. I mean I am gone 20 minutes and everything has gone ape-shit. Why the hell couldn't you and your men survive for 20 MINUTES! =

(Start at 7:21)

Girl at 7:22: Back off! Get your own sandwich!

Girl at 7:23: I forgot how to shoot with this, but when I remember consider yourself dead!

Zombie comes towards her, she pistol whips him and runs.

(Start at 8:27)

Girl at 8:34: I should....... have had a v8........ (Breathing heavily)

Pink dressed lady runs through forest. Alucard shoves hand through woman.

Alucard at 9:29: Do you have any change for the bus? Naw im kidding, im going to eat you.

She fires at him. He laughs.

Woman at 9:46: Screw this!

Woman runs

Alucard at 9:53: Man. That pickup line never works.


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Darth Bane

Number of posts : 292
Skill : 37,780
Force Ability : 12,715
Aim : N/A
Strength : 24,285
Intelligence : 13,545
Army : Sith Order
Master/Apprentice : None
Credits : 395
Weapons : Linked Fiber Cord Saber- Yellow
Registration date : 2008-10-21

PostSubject: Re: Helsing Script   Sun Nov 02, 2008 10:17 pm

Part Two

(Scene starts at 20 seconds.)

Woman at 0:21: Man I hope I dont end up somewhere scary. (At 0:28 ) Speak of the devil.

She shows up at a graveyard, with a church in the middle.

At 0:40 she enters.

Man at 0:50: Who the let the cat out. READ THE SIGN ON THE CHURCH!! NO LETTING THE CAT OUT!

Woman at 1:05: I didnt see a cat?

Man at 1:08: Of course not. It wouldnt be outside if you didnt. Now go get it or I will have to somehow arouse you to the point of temporary paralysis, then giving me the chance to rape you with my eyes.

Women at 1:16: No!. I'm allergic.

Man at 1:20: I warned you. Now prepared to be raped.

Woman at 1:24: Raped?!?!?! Oh god. Too bad I cant fire my gun in time to stop future raping and or killing of myself and many others.

Man steps towards the woman.

Woman at 1:30: Oh god your getting closer. WHAT DO I DO!!

Man at 1:34: Im sorry I cant take it. You have a FUCKING GUN. Shoot me!

Camera angle changes to mans face.

Man at 1:39: Forget it...... Your a dumbass... Now. Time for some rapedege!

Woman at 1:49: NEVER! You will just have to paralyze me like you said before.

Man at 1:50: Then it will be done.

Man paralyzes woman and pulls her to him.

Woman at 2:20: Let me go or I will have to blow your brains out, you stupid Vampire .

Man at 2:29: But I haven't even raped you yet. Be patient, it will be over in 10 seconds at most.

Door busts open as our hero Alucard walks in.

Alucard at 2:45: What the hell is up people. . Guess what. BETTY WHITE IS TIRED OF YOUR CRAP!

Man at 2:50: Betty Who?

Alucard at 2:52: An actress from the 50's and 60's. She was on Match game for a while.

Man at 2:58: Match game? THAT SHOW SUCKS!

Alucard at 3:04: Match game was greatest thing to happen to America! You will pay for saying that!

Alucard at 3:16: Prepare to die you anti-american communistic!

Man at 3:25: I think that is enough. Time for you to die.

Zombies Arise

(Stops at 3:28 )

(Starts at 3:50)

Let them watch him die and come back. (While music goes on)

Alucard at 4:57: I can't die for my name is Alucard which backwards is Dracula!!!

Alucard draws gun and kills all of the zombies

(Stop at 5:07)

(Start at 5:17)

Alucard at 5:18: I hope you like death, because I can kill you. (Cocks gun with his teeth.) Time to go revolver on your ass.

(Cut scene the second you are done with the line.)

(Start at 5:40)

Alucard at 5:41: This gun was made by Jesus and given to Thomas Edison when he killed JFK. After that he gave it to the creator of the muppets who gave it to me. Now police girl, I am going to fire this directly into your chest leaving hole so big it wont even matter how good of aim I have. It is going to kill you no matter what in a horribly painful way. Oh right. He will die also I think if I aim right. It is your choice, yes or well really you dont have 2 choices I am going to do it anyways, I just want you to feel in control.

Man at 6:25: Thats enough why are you waiting for her to answer if she can only answer yes.

Alucard at 6:29: Because I want to now shut the hell up!. (If he talks longer than expected ad-lib)

Man at 6:34: Who do you think you are Yoda?

Alucard at 6:38: Yes yes I do. I am going to shoot you now. Nod so it looks like you said yes.

Man at 6:48: Dont nod or else!

Woman at 7:00: Betty white his ass.

Alucard fires killing the man while saying "May the power of Christ compel you bitch!


Man turns into sand.

Alucard: well, it seems like you might be able to live Police girl." he walks toward her kneeling down. "Want to become a vampire?"

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